it's all beeyooteefool -

October 30, 2006

@9:28 AM

advertising time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkTlogcmUtI
click! and watch the publicity video there, then

come for bbpc yf camp '06!

it'll rock. :)

-

yesterday was 5th sunday!

so basically in our church's yf, 5th sunday is set aside for games & outings because the other four sundays follow the routine of prayer & praise, BS, speaker, BS. so yesterday was games, was a facilitator & it was much fun. rained for about 20 minutes in between but after prayer it went away! <3.

the best part was the mass games @ the nature park i guess. i really like worship with a single acoustic guitar, and the rest of us sitting on the ground singing familiar songs, clapping along. guess the yf feels more bonded that way. for me, in a natural environment setting with lots and lots of grass, trees, water, it's much easier to cast aside all the distractions of the world and truly praise God wholeheartedly! also, when we're all crowded together like that, there's no more of the segregation between the younger and older youths that's painfully evident in the seminar room.

then was waterbombs! it's a tradition sort of, to always have a waterbomb game when there're games, except we used coloured waterbombs this time! so catherine ended up with pink-streaked shorts that were quite pretty actually. & the rest of it was just a lot of eating & having fun, hahahaha praise God for the success of the entire thing!

kaiwen & shandy are organising some marina south kite-flying cum seafood bbq thing this tuesday to celebrate the success of the games today, which is yay because i harth marina south a lot. the wide expanse of grass, grass, and more grass.

oh just a random photo i found the other day, i dont know where it is or who took it, but look @ the colour of the sky! pretty. :) nature itself is enough to prove God's existence isn't it!

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song recommendation! I See Love by Steven Curtis Chapman, Third Day, & Mercy Me

some see a teacher standing on a hill
speaking words of wisdom,
some see a healer reaching out his hand
to give sight to a blind man,
some see a dreamer wasting his life
on what can never be,
some see a fool dying for his dreams

chorus
but i see love
i see love
light of heaven breaking through
i see grace
i see God's face
shining pure and perfect love
when i see You
i see love

some see a prisoner alone before his judge
with no one to defend him,
some see a victim beaten and abused
with all the world against him,
some see a matyr carrying his cross
for what he believes,
some see a hero who set his people free

chorus

with your last breath i see love
through your death i see love
i see peace in the eyes of the king
i see hope in your suffering
i see a calm in the centre of the storm
i see a Saviour

chorus

some see Him walking from an empty grave

-

& i embraced the world;

October 27, 2006

@11:19 PM

ldp launch today!

to put it short, cip rocks my life. :)

met with group members, nj-ip girl called cassandra (whom im talking to on msn right now and is darn cute!), two ri people (one with an interesting name, and one who's like very on and has already set up a yahoo group! gosh, efficiency.) , & two hc guys who didnt come because they're in taiwan on exchange, apparently. everyone seems quite nice, but we were pretty much stoning and being shy et quiet today, so. nevermind, ex-ldpians said we'll warm up eventually!

am quite interested in working with handicapped welfare associations, which we'll be visiting on wednesday. personally prefers working with the physically or intellectually disabled (although i dont like that term much), because it's more challenging and i guess it'll get me to be really thankful & appreciative!

off to memorise my two-minute long speech for hca hospice seminar tomorrow. talking of which, sarah/ym/whoever else is in rcip and reading this, when we bring our luggage to school the day before to checkin, and we take bus, HOW ARH? i mean. go onto the bus carrying a suitcase?!

succumbed to another taiwanese idol drama! so what if they're brainless? I LIKE. imo, movies should be intelligent because they're short, and so directors can be as artsy or unfathomable as they want to be as long as there's a meaning behind it that people can pick up. dramas, on the other hand, should just be dramatic. :)

6 more days before i whisk off to vietnam!

& i embraced the world;

October 23, 2006

@9:07 PM

love

the most famous quote on love:
1 Cor 13 : 4 - 8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preseveres.

love is one of the fruits of the Spirit, and comes hand-in-hand with the other fruits, namely: joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal 5:22-23)

love is not a feeling. it is the desire for the wellbeing of another person, and when people treat it as an emotion to be nourished and paid back in full, it becomes obsession. love is unconditional, obsession is selfish. love does only good to the one who loves, the one who is loved, and the ones who can see the love. obsession hurts all who are involved.

perhaps that's why love has become so warped - for most people, it's turned into obsession.

love isn't two people holding hands walking down a beach, or the odd things that people do on mrts. it's a young baby born in a manger knowing that He is not of the world. it's a man on a cross carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders although he had done nothing to deserve such. it's the silent cry of the same man who saved the very people who killed him.

what is love?

Rom 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

-

& i embraced the world;

October 21, 2006

@2:04 AM

whee -

past week has been quite interesting! strangely busy with regional cip stuff, not that it takes up a lot of time but rather, the times it takes up are rather odd & e organised EOY programmes for us are rather staggered so half the time people are wandering around with nothing to do. ahh well. i still find it quite ironic that we're going to do regional cip and we're taking SQ. not that im complaining though :)

okay anyway, today we had sia presentations/exhibits, & two groups from hwachong came over to present their projects and THEY ARE SO DARN GOOD. seriously, one year older than us and they're so much more pro! sigh. i thought the first one made a particularly strong impression on me, the autistic children and the expression in their eyes in some of the photos - dont know if rapturous would be the right word to describe it. but what the guys did was amazing, & toot i actually teared during their presentation! stupid, but it was touching & really got to see service learning in action :) cip's probably the best thing moe has made compulsory over the years.

temper's on a particularly short fuse these days, and i think i might have strayed along the walk with God. going to vietnam would help i guess, 12 days of isolation from media, the comp, the net, and the phone. yes, i need to be thankful for so many things which i normally fail to appreciate! as the verse goes, " Stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God. " from Job, i think. thus will go to vietnam so i can be still and know that He's God! :)

talking of which I REALLY MISS SHANGHAI AGAIN. not the ' i wish i could go back in time and never came back to singapore ' kind, but the ' i wish i had appreciated the time there more and i want to meet all the people there again '. sad thing about being in an international school, we all part our ways after a while and there'll never be a time when it's exactly the same as before, with all the same people present. hoho i know its annoying, me being reminiscent and all but now that eoys are over i've less to occupy my brain so i think about random things!

haha of course ny is much love but being here for 1 year and 2 months can't beat 4 years in s'hai right! thank goodness i snapped out of my vegetative antisocial state i was in when i came originally except now my vegetative antisocial loner state is reserved for during band. sad but true, the band people are darned nice except when people see my nametag colour and start discussing the reasons behind my er. lousiness pretty much, and it gets blatantly obvious, but ahh well. i guess i'd do the same if i were in their position.

twill prob stay this way until jc, or even beyond that, but being antisocial does have its upsides, gives me time to think and to observe people. anyways! malaria pills make me sleep. a lot.

shall go off now, i realise that i hop from topic to irrelevant topic like heck in one single post! that should annoy all who attempt to read my blog, yes. meanwhile, doubt i'll be blogging until next week, so til then, adieu!

& i embraced the world;

October 14, 2006

@10:46 PM

- He died for us, so we live for Him!

two days belated, but EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER :)
blatantly refuse to talk about the results here when i do get them back though.

lorena's (my sister's) birthday today! so the entire day was spent hopping around getting stuff for her. dad & i went to fix her laptop (which is my old and ailing one) at simlim, then went to plaza sing to get her present but they were out of stock! so we bought lots of snacks and i got RITTER SPORT <3 chocolate then off we flew to suntec and finally managed to get her present - electric drumpad from casio! it's quite fun but odd because the hihat is positioned on the right side of the snare. oh well.

bought a cake from swensen's for her with finding nemo icing! it's darn cute please. simon sooksook & auntie meiyee came over and they're still here chatting actually, it was loads of fun. i still think birthdays are best spent with family indeed :) since really, friends didnt play much of a part in your birth.

im in love with bach again! can't stop listening to his brandenburg concertos, which are absolutely awesome. am going to spend the holidays and my nov-dec pocket money stocking up on classical cds & i have a very looong list planned out which will take me a couple of years to obtain i guess.

baroque still remains my absolute love though, i mean isn't it more of an art if a composer is able to express every single emotion known to human through a piece of music that's so strict in tempo, dynamics, form and instrumentation? as compared to the romantic period, where everything's so dynamic and rubato and flexible and rules are flung out of the windows! which is why 70% of a list of famous composers consist of romantic ones, even though the romantic period lasted 2/3 the time of the Baroque period.

jayne! can check your classical collection to see if you have baroque period (corelli, bach, handel)'s trio sonatas? or classical period (mozart, beethoven)'s string quartets! kaythanks and hope you had a great shopping trip in kl!

time to munch more on rittersport HOHO. :)

& i embraced the world;

October 11, 2006

@10:03 PM

two and a half hours left towards liberation;

today after the practical exam which is now a gone case and im hoping to just pass, i had the sudden impulse to stop learning the piano because the way i played and let my nervousness take over my fingers is insulting not only to the composers but also to the listeners ( in this case mrs ee and mr lim), to the piano, and to all other people who are much more capable than i am.

ALENA WAN WHEN THE HECK ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN TO LOOK FAILURE IN THE EYE AND ACCEPT DEFEAT GRACIOUSLY?!

it's typical of me to blame everything on carelessness, people, nerves, un-conducive environments, etc. it's about time i learn to see that when i fail, the only one i can hold responsible is myself. therefore ...

post exam resolutions

1. practice piano 1 hr 45 minutes a day (if i play any later, the neighbours will hunt me down with parangs)

2. practice guzheng at least 5 hours a week.

3. practice bass clarinet with a vengeance!

4. get more involved in church somehow

5. figure out how to teach a 9 year old how to play piano

6. read both chinese and english papers like i would read a chinese compre during exams.

7. read qingnianwenzhai and chinese periodicals, chinese olevels next year!

8. more community service, must get rid of that arrogant et selfish streak in me

9. learn how to cook before going for rcip. YES I VERY SPOILT LARH DONT KNOW HOW TO COOK.

10. go and regain my long lost tennis skills. not that i had a lot in the first place, but at least i had SOME. now they're nonexistent once more. oh yeah, restring my racquet.

11. not to go out more than one day a week.

12. go to music essentials and SPLURGE. well, that isnt much of a good resolution it's just a want.

13. go see a doctor about my sinus.

14. spend more time in the esplanade library (LOVE!) which im certain is the most conducive library in singapore. beats even the natlib okay!

15. be less antisocial and less eccentric and less temperamental and less urgh.

16. watch WORLD TRADE CENTRE! and notre dame di paris! and phantom of the opera which is coming in march! and remember to go order tix for the 5 sso concerts i want to attend.

-

optimism has returned slightly, so back to figuring out the difference between a2 and divisi. grrsh.

& i embraced the world;

October 10, 2006

@11:00 PM

YAY ONLY MUSIC LEFT!

although tis bound to be the worst of the lot, i will maintain the optimism that has diffused its way into my brain thanks to certain gloaters that their exams are over! :) but nevermind, prata eating was much fun today.

to sum it up, chem was unexpectedly disastrous, ih was expectedly terrible, english and chinese were fun but average, math was okay, chinese lit & physics were much better than expected! hoho im hoping against hope that i get at least three A1s, although the prospect doesn't really seem to be too bright.

i like studying music though, especially reading about all the composers' scandals. makes them easier to remember! and stuff like how brahms liked mellow instruments like the viola and clarinet hoho. and goodness knows how the italian name for bassoon (fagotto) became a profanity.

and tomorrow's practical! i-am-so-going-to-die my beethoven sonata is completely out of tempo and im scared it's going to take more than 10 minutes and i always freak out under cold room conditions so my fingers freeze and i pretty much mess up the entire piece! but horh, even in normal conditions i can't play properly so i dont have any right to say.

oh well. back to muzique!

& i embraced the world;

October 4, 2006

@5:07 PM

i will hereby be thankful that im in ip, that my results in an exam won't affect my future as drastically as it would if i were taking my o-levels. sigh. go figure.

& i embraced the world;

@3:19 AM

3.5 down, 4.5 to go until freedom!

late night or early morning, whichever way you prefer to phrase it, because chem exam starts in 4 hours and 15 mins, gasp. quite obviously, my self-imposed exam bedtime curfew has gone to the dogs, but thank goodness chem involves a lot of regurgitating and slightly less critical thinking so even if im half-asleep while doing the paper at least i've memorised facts! although judging by the past year papers i've tried, there is a huge possibility of me flunking anyway.

chinese (yesterday) was disastrous, but not as bad as ih today which i REFUSE to think about. i've never known myself to be so capable of crapping through why welfare should be disposed of and how difficult it is to build national identity, or in the case of chinese why people choose to migrate and how service standards in singapore are dropping. sigh, well at least the written papers are over, and surprisingly it's not my hand that hurts after the exams, but my neck. probably something to do with my sitting position that i end up with terrible neck cramps after the papers.

math wasn't too bad, with luck i didn't make too many careless mistakes although i already have about 10 marks off & probably got the entire linear law question wrong in the process. - gulp - but what's gone is gone and i'll just have to jiayou for paper two on monday!

it feels quite ridiculous blogging about exams.

back to studying why most covalent compounds don't readily dissolve in water. i realise that although i dont like a subject, the more i study it the greater my interest grows! which means im starting to appreciate the finer details of chem. quite kool, except it'll never take the place of physics and math in my heart (aww)!

hahaha jayne you should be disturbed, im more faithful to subjects than i am to you, nyaha.

i hereby vow to stick to my curfew (sleep before 12.30) for the rest of my exams.

& i embraced the world;

October 1, 2006

@2:19 PM

just a random thought;
i need to do something about my arrogance.

got the email forwarded by jiawei, it's true about life i guess. keep all the sorrow, failure, hatred and disappointment in a box that has a hole - and as you go on in life, let all of that fall away and lighten your load. as for the joy and love in life, keep it in a golden net so the fragrance can be spread to everyone around you. and when the load gets too heavy, share.

:)

& i embraced the world;